In Loving Memory
Of
Robert Walters Jr.





"Robbie & Javan"


Welcome to my site in memory of my Son
Robert Walters Jr.
or "Robbie" as we used to call him.
Who passed away December 14, 2002.


When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me:

I wish you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too:

But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand.

And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity.
And all I've promised you.
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things

You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share my life with me?"

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.
Author Unknown


The Day My Life Changed

The Day My World Changed It was a cold Saturday
morning December 14, 2002.
I had trouble sleeping Last night as I tossed and
Turned as I could hear the Television still playing.
I had talked to Robbie around 11 PM right before I went
to bed.He was sitting on the sofa watching a Movie on TV.
I observed what the movie was and said to Robbie, I seen
this Movie before and it’s very good. It’s called
“Pay It Forward”.
At this point in time I don’t remember if he nodded
his head but I think he said, Yea I have seen it before to.
That was the last time I seen or spoke with him. I awoke
early the next morning which was December 14, 2002.
It was around 6Am. I went out to the
Living Room, where Robbie was when I went to bed.
I figured he fell asleep while watching TV. As I
walked into the Living Room The TV was still on so
I turned the TV off. He wasn’t asleep on the sofa
So I looked to where he usually slept and that was
empty also. I figured He must have gone out during the
night and was staying somewhere else.
I had my pup that was about 6 months old at the time
and had to let him Outside to go to the bathroom. As
I wasn’t properly dressed I walked out
To my screen room and knelt down to let my pup outside.
I then went back into the house to get dressed for work.
While I was getting dressed my pup began to bark quite a
lot as it was early I didn’t want to disturb
My neighbors. So I went to the door and opened it to let
him in. Upon opening the door I seen something hanging from
the tree in my back yard which was only about 8 feet away.
Upon first sight, I thought that Robbie was playing a
Joke and it was a dummy hanging there. I said dam you Rob
and your jokes,it was then that I realized it was no joke
but Robbie hanging from the tree He was standing in a chair
with his knees bent and his fists clenched tightly! I
Screamed “OH MY GOD” “OH MY GOD”
My wife who was asleep heard me screaming.I immediately
grabbed him to try and save him. As I wrapped my arms around
him to raise him up,to take the strain of the rope from his
neck, I felt that he was already hard,my son’s lifeless body
had rigamortis already setting in. I was to late. I ran
Into the house and grabbed a knife from the kitchen and
ran back outside .I raised my son’s dead body while cutting
the rope and lowering him to the ground.
I was in a state of shock; I ran back inside and called 911.
I told them” I just found my son dead hanging from a tree in
my back yard”. My wife now awake Heard my conservation and went
totally berserk. I could not let her outside to see my son.
No one would be allowed to see him. I had made up my mind that
it would have been to traumatic for anyone else to witness what
I just did. The next thing I remember
Was taking my wife next door to the neighbor’s. I was then met
by the Paramedics and the Police. I went back out to the back
yard and showed them my son whom I have laid his now lifeless
body on the ground. I then knelt over Robbie and looked into his
lifeless Eyes which were still open. His eyes were like saying
to me “I’m sorry Dad I just couldn’t handle it anymore”.I then
went to close his eyes and a police officer told me to move away
and not touch the body as it was a crime scene. I remember before
the paramedics and the poice arriving my daughter was called.
She called me back and she didn’t know what happened. She asked me
what was wrong with Robbie now? My reply was,
” Tammy, Robbie is Dead!!!
He hung himself in the back yard”.. I remember the screams from my
daughter through the phone as she passed out. My other Son came
rushing home, tears now begin to fill my eyes as I re-live this
tragic event. My other son was so distraught and shaken; He was
cursing the police out. By then neighbors, my son, my brother
had surrounded me and was trying to comfort me. I was still
in shock. The coroner arrived and I showed him where to go.
When the other SUV arrived and removed the stretcher from the
rear of the SUV is when I totally lost control. My neighbor
held me but I sobbed so hard that I almost knocked her down.
My son came over and tried to comfort me but my tears and
sobs became so bad I thought I would break in two. The coroner
came back out and talked to me and I watched as they wheeled
my son in a black body bag and put him into the SUV. From there
on everything was a blur.


Robbie's Service
Farewell to Robbie
I am at Peace
Robbie's Photo Album
Robbie's Scrapbook
Remembering Robbie
Robbie's Balloons come Home
Coping with Suicide
Final Words For Robbie
A Sister's Love For Robbie
In Memory Of Loved Ones Lost
Awards for Robbie
Index to My Poems
Help and Support
Home